Heavy Baggage

    Once again, my requests have been ignored. Why is it that my mother feels the need to publicly expose all of our personal stuff? I have asked her many times to leave me out of it. She is almost compelled to piss me off with it. Like she is trying to pick a fight. Well, game on then. I am sick of her talking like she is a poor, wounded animal without anyone to love her.. Why is that, ma? I mean you were always there for us right?? Oh wait, she was never there for us. She wants to play like our versions of the story are different, they arent. Then again, maybe she has created a different reality to spare herself the anguish of having to face these things. I am done with all this. Now she can whine to all her sympathizers about how she has tried everything and its gotten her nowhere. They can tell her what a great person she is and fill her head with shit all they want. I know the real person that she is. She can be whatever you want her to be, if you "love" her. There is nothing she wont do for you or give up for you just know that when it doesnt work out, she will blame you for it all. Like she is a puppet in this life. That to me is pathetic. I am more than ready to give up and live my life without her. She does nothing but make me feel bad and think of all the things I needed from her and didnt get. Not the extra things, just the staples, like love and affection. She will say she didnt know how. Whats so different now? Do I trust her? No. Do I want to over-extend myself so she can feel better about her sins? No. I need to be healthy for me and my children. I will no longer believe that I was put here to be of service to other people. I have felt that way since I was a child. No longer. I am putting it down. It's not mine anymore. Only I can choose that. She can do whatever she wants with her thoughts and feeling on this situation. I am no longer going to tie how I feel about this to how she may feel about it. I am officially done!