Donny called me tonight. Which in itself isnt strange, but, what he asked me kind of stopped me in my tracks. He wants to know how I would feel about him taking a different truck driving job. Again, not strange. This job, however, is in......AFGHANISTAN! WTF?!?!?!? Apparently there are all kinds of civilian jobs there for drivers and other professions. He sees dollar signs, and yes, to have our current house paid off and new vehicles in our driveway would be nice. We want so many things but would it be worth the sacrifices and danger that would come with it. I am his wife and I will support whatever decision he comes to. I will not like it, and I know it would drastically change the dynamics of our marriage until he came home. I already hate him being gone for a month or so at a time and him being 12 hours away. What will it feel like when he is thousands of miles away and I cant see him for 6 months or more? When people ask where he is and I tell them, they will automatically feel sorry for me and think hes in the service. When I tell them, no, we just want the money, that will make us look horrible. Not that I really care too much what people think, but it does cross my mind. I wanted to scream at him and yell at him that he cant go and what the hell is wrong with him for wanting to go. I know he wants us to be comfortable and he wants us to have everything we possibly can. He wants our kids to go to college without the burden of having to worry about scholarships or student loans. He wants us to own land with a nice house on it. I want those things too but I'm not willing to risk his life for them. Gahhhhh, what to do.. I havent told anyone because I'm not sure what decision we will come to. Time will tell, but if I know him, hes probably already rewritten his resume and filled out the application.
